Grief at the holidays; A witness to the Pearl Harbor attack as a six-year-old

Tuesday, 06 December 2011 15:15

Grief at the holidays; A witness to the Pearl Harbor attack as a six-year-old

Written by Scott LaMar, Director of Radio Smart Talk

Radio Smart Talk for Wednesday, December 7:

The holiday season is usually a happy time. The hustle and bustle bring excitement to adults as well as children. But not everyone is joyous. In fact, for those who have lost a loved one since the last holiday or just recently, the holiday season can a period of profound sadness.

Many people who are grieving also feel pressure to get into the spirit of the season. Seeing the many smiling faces often leaves the grief stricken feeling even worse because they're in no state-of-mind to celebrate.

On Wednesday's Radio Smart Talk, we'll be joined by Leslie Delp, a bereavement specialist and founder of Olivia's House, a grief and loss center for children in York. As part of witf's Facing Cancer Together initiative, we'll discuss dealing with grief at the holidays.

Also, Wednesday is the 70th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Betty Ann Weber was six-years-old and lived with her family in Hawaii when the bombing occurred. She has vivid memories seven decades later and will tell us about them on Wednesday's program.

Read Betty Ann Weber's free-verse story about her experience of the attack here.

LISTEN TO PROGRAM:

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# Steven 2011-12-07 10:27

Though it is sad that people die it is a necessary evil of our world. with the growing population and people living longer it would only be a mater of time before we became so over-populated that we would have space and resource issues world wide. As we live longer there will need to be trade-off's for longer life such as being limited to one or two children. The days of having 7 children is quickly becoming a liability.

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# Josh 2011-12-07 10:34

Not everyone gets to say goodbye, and although death is a part of life, all too often it comes all too soon, especially in the unfortunate cases of suicide. Unless it's something you experience, there is no way to understand what a friend or family member goes through. It's not something you ever get over, it's something you have to learn to live with.

Last year on November 5th, a student from Snyder County committed suicide because of the bullying he faced in school. I see it only getting harder for his surviving family and friends, especially his mother, where the grieving hasn't disappeared, but simply changed. Some things you just don't get over.

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# Kathy 2011-12-07 11:04

A comment for Leslie from Olivia's House: I was nine years old when my mom commmitted suicide. That was forty years ago but there is one thing that really stuck with me that might be helpful for listeners to know. Children have selective hearing. You never know which of the things you say to them will stick and which will be ignored. As an only girl child of a widowed dad, friends and family would often say things like "it's up to you to take care of your dad now that your mom is gone". I know this was well-meaning but as a kid I really took this to heart. It was not until I was much older that I realized it is never the responsibility of a child to take care of a parent. Fortunately, my dad understood this and did a great job of parenting me but I took these comments very seriously and unfortunately did not learn how to grieve until much later in life.

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# Kathy 2011-12-07 11:05

I appreciate the efforts involved in the creation of a place like Olivia's House. My family would have benefitted tremendously from a place like this when I was a kid. I know that at one point there was talk of opening a second facility in Gettysburg, since Olivia was from Adams County. I have visited Olivia's House in York on a couple occassions and would love to do some volunteer work there but I work full time in Gettysburg so the drive is a stretch. Are there still plans for a second Olivia's House facility or has the stressed economy put an end to that?

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# Susan 2011-12-07 13:33

Thank you for your interview with Betty Ann Weber this morning about her memories of the attack on Pearl Harbor. My two oldest children (ages 15 and 12) were in the car with me and were captivated by Miss Weber's stories. Hers was an unusual and fresh perspective on the attacks, both highly educational and creative. You know you reached a tricky audience when teens who automatically switch the station from witf to their music beg to stay in the car in the driveway so as not to miss a word. What a thoughtful way to comemmorate an important piece of history.

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# Scott LaMar 2011-12-07 15:15

Susan:
Thank you very much for the kind words. You should be proud of your children for their willingness to learn about an event that changed the course of history but that fewer people know or understand.

Ms. Weber is a fabulous storyteller. Her description painted a picture in my mind of what it was like for a young family on that morning.

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# FacingCancer 2011-12-07 15:36

For those of you interested in learning more about Olivia's House, here are two videos that we created for our Facing Cancer Together initiative. The first is about what Leslie mentioned on today's show, "giving the gift of goodbye." And, the second is about how Olivia's House is bringing hope to grieving kids. Thanks! Video 1:
http://facingcancertogether.witf.org/end-of-life/giving-the-gift-of-goodbye-102611

Video 2:
http://www.facingcancertogether.witf.org/end-of-life/olivia-s-house-bringing-hope-and-healing-to-grieving-children-71811

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