(York) -- American Gold Star Mothers is a national organization of women whose members are tied together by a painful reality. Each one has lost sons or daughters, who were serving their country in the military. Pennsylvania has one of the largest numbers of Gold Star chapters in the nation. Cherriney Kondor of York County and Barbara Benard of Lancaster County belong to the Greater Harrisburg chapter. At a recent groundbreaking ceremony for the Veterans Memorial Gold Star Healing and Peace Garden in York, witf's Megan Lello talked with both women about how the group has helped them cope with the losses of their sons.

Cherriney Kondor of York says she still remembers the day in 2001 when her 18-year-old son Martin Kondor told her he enlisted in the U.S. Army. "When he turned 18 on November fifth, of that year, he slapped down some papers on the dining room table and said, 'I just joined the army. I'm going to be a tanker.' And that set his course," Cherriney says. "I was surprised because I didn't expect him to do it, but I was thrilled that he had the presence of mind to know what he wanted and to act on it. So, I was proud of that, and I was also scared." Three years later, Martin Kondor was killed in Iraq, while serving with the Third Brigade Combat Team's Personal Security Detachment.

Cherriney has spent several years working on the Veterans Memorial Gold Star Healing and Peace Garden in York to honor military members killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. At an event to mark the start of construction, she draws close to Barbara Benard of Columbia. Benard also lost her son, Sergeant First Class Brent Adams, in Iraq. Brent died in 2005. "He was 40-years-old at the time, and left behind a wife and four-year-old son, and he was in the Pennsylvania National Guard for 18 years," she says.

Both women are stoic as they talk about the sons they lost in a war that came to a quiet end last month, when the final U.S. troops left. Kondor says she's turned to Benard and other American Gold Star Mothers who've lost children as well. That bond, she says, has helped her cope with her grief, years after her son's death. "No one really wants to be a member, but we can talk about things that most people don't even consider in their lifetime," she explains. "So, we get down to the nitty-gritty but we're also very supportive of each other." Benard nods in agreement. She says many times, she doesn't even have to put her feelings into words because her "sisters," as she calls them, already know how she feels. "American Gold Star Mothers has been a life saver to me because other moms who've been in this same position, we have an understanding," Benard says. "We have like a sisterhood, a bond, that some things are just unspoken, that we just know, because we have all been through a very similar experience."

Since its inception during World War I, American Gold Star Mothers has helped memorialize fallen troops around the country. The Greater Harrisburg chapter has even donated a bench to the Healing and Peace Garden in York, which could be unveiled later this year. Benard says it's her duty to make sure her son and other troops like him are remembered. "As a parent, you never want your child to be forgotten, and this way, the public will remember and realize that freedom is not free, and there are sacrifices to be made, and some of them have made the ultimate sacrifice," she says. To her, it's important to keep in mind the others her son has left behind: a wife and a son, who've lost as much as she has. "People don't realize, you know, the effort and all that encompasses a family when you lose a family member," she explains. "Not only the member serves, but the whole family serves, and therefore, when there is a death, the whole family suffers."

Kondor says she knows there are other, bigger groups out there to bring attention to the military's fallen men and women, but each one has the same goal. "Other organizations are doing part of the same thing, and once we all line up and get together, we're making a bigger picture and a bigger footprint. So anytime anyone wants to make an expression like this, I think it's great."

After some trying years, Kondor says she's looking to the future to help support other military families who are facing difficult times. "The founder of the American Gold Star Mothers said, 'Grief turned inward is self-destructive.' So you have to take that and move it out and create something positive that's going to help other people." And if she ever gets discouraged, Kondor knows she can turn to Benard and her other sisters from American Gold Star Mothers to help her through.