Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade offers ideas for maintaining your mental health.
In any relationship, people's priorities, desires, goals and wishes can differ. The husband considers a simple life of having one house or condo and the wife likes living in different locations different seasons. The husband wants to eat out often and the wife wants to eat at home. The boyfriend wants to explore the world and the girlfriend wants to settlle down. One partner wants to watch TV a lot and the other wants to go to cultural events. One spouse likes modern decor, the other antiques.
How did these people get together in the first place? Usually, they agreed on little things, like daily scheduling, fun with friends, or just feeling comfortable together. Sometimes, it was more about the big things, like character, trust and passion. Hopefully, it was both. However, the many decisions which life brings as people grow, develop and age lead to different choices and priorities. At a younger age, staying fit and beautiful seemed important. Later, just being healthy and functional in a more basic way took precedence.
What if their priorities differ more as they change with time? How does a couple stay together? Many don't, but many do. Compromise, compromise, compromise. Always, someone has to give a bit more, though. It's rare that compromise doesn't involve some sacrifice. Certainly, some people are not so happy with the compromises they make. Sometimes, though, they end up surprised that it's not so bad , after all. What one really hopes is that the relationship is stronger than the issues, so that just being together becomes more important than where or how. That's true love.