Self Help Now: A community blog

Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade offers ideas for maintaining your mental health.

Trying to Win by Intimidation

Written by Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade, Community blogger | Jan 7, 2014 7:55 PM

A sign of great personal weakness is the need to intimidate. Certainly, if there's a valid logic to an argument, just stating it is enough.If someone has something worthwhile to offer, intimidation is unnecessary. Logic or a good product sells itself. When there's really no case, the bully tries to win through intimidation. We see this m.o. in court on TV and in life. We see it in the classroom when the teacher doesn't really know how to motivate and teach. Most sadly, we see it in parenting when the the mom or dad gives an ugly lecture, harshly commands, forces false apologies and artificial statements, threatens, labels and calls names, and worse.

Especially scary is when one intimidator pairs up with another, such as a parent and lawyer, a parent and paramour or partner, bullies in a school, a teacher and administrator, a coach and a captain, an employee and the boss. Then, we have a toxic situation with likely victimization .

Intimidation occurs at every level of society from slum gangs to Wall St. to professionals in a courtroom. It's important to remember that the bullies have nothing but their ability to produce fear and cannot win ultimately, due to the fact that they remain jerks.

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