Self Help Now: A community blog

Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade offers advice for maintaining your mental health.

Heartbreak and Pain

Written by Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade, Community blogger | Aug 30, 2013 2:44 PM

I should go outside and have a swim in the heat but I have heartbreak on my mind and choose to write. Maybe it's because I worked with some people in grief recently and referred some to colleagues. Maybe it's because of a poignant novel I'm reading ("Belong to Me" by Maria de los Santos) or because of conversations with friends lately.

Heartbreak comes in all sizes and shapes, from the lost fetus or baby to the hulk of a divorced husband to the alienated teen to the drug-addled, sick and/or depressed spouse . Everyone encounters it sometime, even if just indirectly. We mourn for people who lost their homes to fire, who lost their lives in riots and wars, who lost their children to drugs and their dignity through abuse.We miss our deceased parents and friends, irrationally often, as they would be too sick or old to exist with any semblance of their old selves. All this pain, especially the personal losses, accumulates, eating at the spirit, digging into the soul and robbing life of meaning.

So, where is hope? Only in acceptance comes peace. Some find comfort in the loves still left in their lives, in nature, in their spiritual beliefs, in the Zen of "letting go." Some write or make music. I just wrote.

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