Self Help Now: A community blog

Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade offers advice for maintaining your mental health.

Anger Resolved-It's Hard but Necessary

Written by Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade, Community blogger | May 31, 2013 7:58 PM

Most divorces include some painful battles at the beginning. Some people hold grudges, retain fear and never forgive. They are lost in hurt and anger. Sometimes, their future choices are colored by a need to be on top this time, not always a good thing. Only when they learn to accept some responsibility, to forgive and to let go of fear do they progress with their lives and have healthy relationships. People do change and it takes courage to do so and to see it in others.

Children learn their parents' prejudices and express their anger for them and with them quite often, especially when their lives are turned upside down. They release tension on the person whose love they are least afraid to lose. They struggle until helped to know that it is OK to accept ambiguity and that they are not responsible for resolving conflicts which aren't theirs. They let go of extraneous symptoms, then, like anxiety, rebellion and depression and substance abuse or overeating.

The key to resolving anger is understanding, forgiveness, perspective and acceptance. It's hard but it's harder to stay mad.

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