Self Help Now: A community blog

Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade offers ideas for maintaining your mental health.

One Lie After Another

Written by Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade, Community blogger | Mar 18, 2013 8:35 PM

It's been said that behind every lie is a truth. For example, the kid who lied that he didn't smoke weed wanted his parents to know one truth--that he wants them to think he's law-abiding and respectable and not to get in trouble. The child in a custody evaluation who says what everyone wants to hear, pleasing each parent by lying about the other alternatively, elevates lying to an art form but the truth is that he wants each parent to be right at one time or another. Eventually, he believes all his lies and really is confused. The cheating spouse who lies that "there's nothing going on" is trying to save the marriage in a way, while straying.

At some point, each lie leads to another and the defensive posture of keeping everything straight crumbles. What's left is a shell of an identity and erosion of self-respect. Better the truth all around about what's really happening and the ulterior motive, too, than a false, made-up, rotating non-reality.

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