Self Help Now: A community blog

Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade offers ideas for maintaining your mental health.

When the Time is Right

Written by Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade, Community blogger | Nov 20, 2012 10:49 PM

When is the right time to--get married, leave a bad relationship, have a baby, go on a diet, stop obsessing, change attitudes, forgive, quit a job, get a new job, join a group, quit smoking or drinking/drugs, have an nonurgent medical procedure or anything else important? Is it when you feel better about yourself, when good luck hits, when people start being more supportive, when you have more money...?

Usually, it's best not to make big purchases before you can afford them. Quitting a job when another one is lined up might make more sense than just quitting with no plan. Of course, it's easier to take care of a spouse or baby with money. But, for most major life events and transitions, there is never an actual "right" time. If it's important, just do it now because the sooner you do, the better you'll feel about making your life go on the way you believe it's supposed to.Countless people live together putting off marriage until they can afford the big wedding, but if a couple can afford to live together, they can just as well be married. People who have babies before they planned, love them and care for them as well as those who waited until exactly the right time.

Especially, clearning out of bad habits, bad attitudes, and addictions can't wait for you to develop self-respect, which never comes as long as you're self-destructing anyway. Self-respect comes from treating yourself well. Do what you know is right for you, what fits with your future goals, what helps you rather than hurts you and never look back. If things aren't perfect, at least they're better. If you have problems, your ability to make that particular decision and move forward in the way you chose isn't one of them, at least. You can live around the things you can't control. You'll decide to control your life in the way you can, to paraphrase part of the Serenity Prayer.

Of course, you can't do everything at once but don't wait for "the right time." It doesn't often come. More forward.

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