Self Help Now: A community blog

Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade offers ideas for maintaining your mental health.

Obligations are OK

Written by Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade, Community blogger | Nov 27, 2012 11:05 PM

Some people criticize others because they seem to be fulfilling obligations by inviting people out for meals and to parties who never invite them, who give gifts to people who don't expect anything, who donate more to organizations and work harder for them than necessary and do go out of their way to try not to offend, even when everything isn't fair. The criticizers say. "You gotta get over always feeling obligated."

My answer is "why?" We chose what obligations we want. We benefit from doing what we think is right. It doesn't always have to make sense. Relationships don't have to be tit for tat. If we want to give, we should If giving hurts too much, or the sacrifice becomes too great, we can alter the circumstances and make another choice. There is a time to avoid certain people or places. However, for the most part, there's no problem with doing something for people because it feels right and good and like a part of us.

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