Self Help Now: A community blog

Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade offers advice for maintaining your mental health.

Pain Grows

Written by Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade, Community blogger | Aug 11, 2012 12:46 AM

A young man mentally abused by his insecure, immature, mean mother, loses his child. A few years later, he is hurt in a car accident. His permanent injuries deteriorate with overuse of joints and back. His pained heart interacts with his pained mind which interacts with his pained body. He's more and more depressed.

A woman grew up in a dysfunctional family, her mother coming and going at will, always feeling different from her peers. She tries to control her life, her marriage and her future and fails miserably, gaining power and influence but losing love. Her man grows to feel distained and unloved in her presence and grows to hate her, eventually conveying his distrust and disrespect to their children. The children grow confused and lonely in their broken family.

However, it starts, disorder of mind, of emotions, of communication, of body accumulates gradually, and various elements of pain overlap and exacerbate each other, snowballing into one big mess of a person or a situation. That's how the hell of personal, family and social disaster develops, one step at a time.

The lucky ones get help, learn to unravel the elements, find some solutions to assuage or heal whatever is reachable within them or around them. Or they learn to work around a situation or in spite of it. In the case of the multiply-pained man, marriage, church and medication help. A new profession, grandchildren and pets offer hope. In the case of the failed relationship and tragic effect on children, only forgiveness and a firm desire to make peace and move on would help. That takes courage.

Published in Self Help Now: A community blog

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