Self Help Now: A community blog

Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade offers ideas for maintaining your mental health.

Jealousy is Common

Written by Dr. Jacqueline B. Sallade, Community blogger | Aug 24, 2012 12:55 AM

I heard a road rage-type of comment against the driver of a lovely Bently who cut in at the wrong time. The comment had to do with this man's supposed arrogance, wealth, and snobbishness. A lot of inferences for a tiny little "cut in" to the driver's lane. Was the driver jealous? Despite the fact that this driver also has material possessions of note, he was jealous.

Jealousy is a combination of envy and anger and usually refers to people who have what the jealous person lacks, whether material possessions, family, friends, traits, skills, talent, attention, or whatever. Envy is natural, which is why children fight over who's sitting up front, borrowing mom's sweater, or getting the car. When anger enters the equation, the reason can be low self-esteem projected out to the object of the jealousy. The way that works is someone feels so bad about himself that he wants to direct anger at the person who has what he doesn't instead of towards himself. It's like kicking the dog instead of the spouse. Not very nice.

The answer is for the jealous person to have a good, long look at him/herself--to catch the anger and jealousy, look at it objectively and  analyze one's own failings, disappointments and strengths. Then, it's time to accept, forgive and develop a self-improvement plan.

Published in Self Help Now: A community blog

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