Imagine eating anything you want without gaining weight, without feeling any guilt, and enjoying every bite. Impossible? It’s easier than you think.

Before becoming a chef, I knew there was a food-pleasure connection. The more I liked food, the more I wanted to eat. For a chef, wanting more is as much a necessity as it is a danger. I knew dieting could never be an option, but I wasn’t going to give up a healthy, strong body. I needed a plan that allowed me to eat without compromising my personal needs.

Science tells us that food loses its appeal after the first few bites. A report in the 1981 British Medical Bulletin confirmed that when food is available, we don’t eat just one thing. Our body instinctively searches for a variety of nutrients to support the biological systems that function to ensure our survival. This is why we still eat dessert after a filling meal. But I didn’t need science to confirm what I was learning firsthand. Cooking and tasting my way through the day left me needing only a few bites of food at mealtime; I was already full. But those few bites were immensely satisfying.

I wondered why everyone couldn’t take a few bites and be done. The answer is as complex as are the reasons (and excuses) for obesity in America. We know we are overweight and obesity is on the rise. We know that ill health increases with weight gain. Still, we overeat. Only recently have doctors, research scientists, nutritionists and psychologists gone a step further, suggesting that diets or weight-loss strategies cannot work unless they are designed for everyday, real-life eating scenarios. In the hunger–appetite-eating equation, eating is the only voluntary part. But instead of stopping, we’ve taught ourselves to override our biological instincts.

“It’s not a lack of will power as much as it is our overabundant and pleasure-stimulating food environment,” says Dr. David Kessler, former Yale Medical School dean and author of The End of Overeating. Penn State University professor of nutritional sciences Barbara Rolls agrees. In her best-selling book, Volumetrics, Rolls says satisfying the impulse to eat in a sensible, moderate way can be the difference between staying healthy and eating too much.

To eat this way, you have to know four things. First, what it feels like to be full. Then, what it is about food that’s satisfying. After that, you identify personal Food Categories and set your Eating Priorities.

Know what full feels like. Most of us have little idea what it feels like to be full. Full is a comfortable feeling: Your body has consumed just enough energy to keep working. Drink eight to 12 ounces of water over the course of 15 minutes and wait five minutes more. This is what comfortably full feels like.

Understand what satisfies you. Your rules about food represent your emotional side to eating and the triggers that lead you to impulse. Get rid of rules that don’t support you or the world you eat in. Create new rules that associate pleasure with food. You may find pleasure in preparing a meal for someone, socializing at mealtime or breaking from the stress of the day to refuel your body. Food may be an opportunity to nurture a loved one.

Food Categories. What are you hungry for? When it’s time to eat, I survey my food categories and trust my instincts. Rarely, if ever, does it involve caloric calculations, a review of the Food Pyramid or an accounting of recommended daily allowances. Food categories are about specific tastes, textures or cravings; tastes like salty, sweet or savory; textures like crunchy, chewy, soft or creamy. Food categories should represent the way you think about food.

Eating Priorities. Always ask, “What do I need from this meal?” In the course of a week, eating priorities can range from healthy, nutritional eating, to weight maintenance, to vitamin and mineral support, to weight loss, to stress and anxiety reduction, to romance. Design eating priorities to satisfy your personal needs. Then, it’s time to take your three bites:

The First Bite. The first bite wakes up your palate. Before you take it, look at what you are eating. Is it appealing? Are the aromas enticing? What do you expect to taste? Place a bite in your mouth, no bigger than the center of your tongue. Focus only on the food and your experience of it. What do you want in your second bite? Drink something to neutralize or support your palate (water or wine, for example).

The Second Bite. This bite is to experience flavor. Take the same-size bite. Chew it slowly. Focus only on the food and your experience of it. Talk with those around you about what you taste and what you are enjoying. Ask yourself, “Do I want a third bite?” Again drink something.

The Third Bite. The third bite is for pure pleasure. Take another small bite and savor the full pleasure this bite has to offer. Eliminate all distractions. Focus on what you will remember and why this satisfies you. Cleanse your palate and ask, “Can I be done?”

Another Third Bite? You have the choice to be done or to enjoy another third bite. Since most of what we eat contains a variety of tastes, flavors and textures, three bites of each, separately or in combination, can leave you feeling full and satisfied. Of course, there will be times when something is so intensely pleasurable you will choose to have several third bites. And you can. Your goal is to know when you’ve reached the comfortable state of being full, and when you are emotionally satisfied by the eating experience.

Following the Three Bites eating plan allows you to eat what you want and avoid the vicious cycle of denial, eating and guilt. But it is an eating plan. We all eventually eat; and while every study and statistic suggests we eat too much, few if any present reasonable, realistic alternatives. The Three Bites eating plan may just be the plan to do away with the guilt and reconnect us to our innate biological system for survival, allowing us to introduce pleasure into the hunger-appetite-eating equation.

recipes to go!

Spicy Sweet Chicken Wings

There is nothing nutritionally redeeming about chicken wings. They are fatty, deep-fried, slathered in sugar and fat, dipped in fat and salt. But sometimes they are simply the food I crave. This recipe is a saucy combination of tangy sweetness, a bit of spice and just enough heat to make even the most die-hard wing-eater a fan. Remember to savor the sweet and salty balance, and though wings are typically eaten while you’re distracted by a game, the TV or conversation, make sure you focus on enjoying the food while you eat it, so you know when you’re full and satisfied.

2 lb. chicken wings

½ cup fresh lime juice (from about 4 limes)

Scant ½ cup apricot preserves

½ cup soy sauce

½ cup brown sugar, lightly packed

4 large garlic cloves

1 Tablespoon grated fresh ginger

¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes

Celery sticks, for serving (optional)

High quality, chunky blue cheese dressing, for serving (optional)

Remove wing tips from wings. Pat wings dry with kitchen towels. Preheat oven to 425°F. Heat a large skillet over high heat and brown the chicken wings about 8 minutes, turning once, until wings are just cooked through. Place wings in a deep aluminum (disposable) pan, arranging in a single layer (increase the number and size of pans depending on the amount of wings using). Place lime juice, apricot preserves, soy sauce, brown sugar, garlic, ginger and red pepper flakes in the bowl of a food processor fitted with a metal blade. Process until smooth and thick. Taste and adjust the flavors. Pour mixture over wings in baking pan. Toss to coat the wings evenly. Bake wings for 30 minutes, turn and baste the wings with sauce. Bake for 20 minutes longer, turn and baste the wings again. Bake a final 15 to 20 minutes basting with sauce and turning, if necessary. The sauce becomes thick and gooey as you near the end of baking time. Watch carefully, as sauce will burn. If baking several pans of wings, bake in top and bottom thirds of oven, switching positions after each basting. Place wings on a warmed platter or serving dish. Serve with celery sticks and chunky blue cheese dressing. Serve immediately. Serves 2–4.

Szechuan Peanut Butter Snaps

One of my favorite food categories is “salty-crunchy.” These cookies fit the bill. The crispy crunch and wide range of flavors give me bite after bite of tastes to savor. When eating on the Three Bites plan, this is a great snack to practice with.

½ cup crystallized ginger

1 Tablespoon cake flour

1¼ cups unbleached, all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 generous teaspoon sea salt

½ cup butter, at room temperature

1/3 cup sugar

½ cup brown sugar, packed firm

1 egg

1 Tablespoon honey

1 Tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil, plus extra for brushing

¾ cup smooth peanut butter

Zest of one lime

1/3 cup sesame seeds, toasted

Place crystallized ginger and cake flour into the bowl of a food processor fitted with a metal blade. Process in short pulses until ginger is minced. In a medium bowl, sift together flour and baking soda. Set aside. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle, combine salt, butter, processed ginger, sugar and brown sugar, and mix until smooth. Reduce speed to low and add egg, honey, sesame oil, peanut butter and zest. Beat on low speed until well-combined. With mixer running, add the dry ingredients until just combined, scraping down the sides of the bowl once. The dough will be wet and sticky, but it will hold together. Turn out the cookie dough onto a sheet of plastic wrap. Wrap the dough and place in a refrigerator until firm at least ½ hour or longer. Remove plastic wrap and divide dough in 2 equal portions. Place each portion on a piece of parchment paper and form each into a log approximately 1" to 1½" in diameter (log should be about 6 to 8" long). Note: Use the parchment paper to shape log and keep dough from sticking to your hands. Work quickly, as dough becomes sticky and more difficult to work with as it warms. Using a pastry brush, brush each log with about 1 Tablespoon of toasted sesame oil. Coat each log with the toasted sesame seeds and roll the log in the parchment paper. Refrigerate the logs until firm, at least 2 hours. Preheat oven to 325 F. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Using a sharp, thin knife, cut ¼-inch slices and place on the prepared cookie sheet, about 1" apart. Bake 14 to 16 minutes, until edges are just golden. Let cookies cool on sheet about 5 to 8 minutes. Remove to a wire rack to cool completely. Repeat until all the cookie dough is used. Makes Approximately 3½ dozen cookies.

To make ahead: Prepare batter and roll dough logs up to one week in advance. Store wrapped in plastic in refrigerator. Or, prepared dough logs can be frozen for up to 6 weeks. When using frozen dough, do not defrost. Just slice and add 2 minutes to the baking time.

Savory Sausage Bread Pudding

Restricting carbs is one of the hardest things to do. This recipe is the perfect answer to satisfying your need for carbs and practicing eating the Three Bites way. This bread pudding combines the savory flavors of Italian sausage and Parmesan cheese, the nuttiness of caramelized seasonal squash and the buttery taste of Emmentaler cheese. Don’t hesitate to substitute ingredients. Use what is seasonal, and balance flavors to suit your overall taste preferences.

3 cups whole milk

½ teaspoon fennel seeds

? teaspoon coarse ground pepper

1½ to 2 lb. mild Italian sausage, casing removed

1 Tablespoon butter

1 Tablespoon olive oil

1 small butternut squash, peeled, seeded and cubed (to yield about 4 cups)

½ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

1 Tablespoon minced shallots

5 eggs

8 cups day-old crusty bread, crust on, cut or torn into about ½ -inch pieces (about a 1-lb. loaf)

¾ cup freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese

¾ cup freshly grated Emmentaler Swiss cheese

¼ cup finely chopped fresh parsley

Coarse salt to season

Butter a 2½-quart casserole or soufflé dish and set aside. Place the milk, fennel seeds and black pepper in a medium-size saucepan over high heat until the milk is steaming. Remove from the heat and cool. Place sausage in a large skillet over medium heat. Cook, breaking sausage apart into small pieces with a wooden spoon, until cooked through, about 5 to 7 minutes. Transfer the cooked sausage to a bowl with a slotted spoon. Set aside. Pour off the liquid from the skillet. Return skillet to medium heat, add butter and olive oil. When butter bubbles, add squash and toss to coat. Cook until caramelized, about 10 to 15 minutes, toss 3 or 4 times during cooking. Add shallots and season with salt. Cook for 1 minute longer. Remove from the heat. Sprinkle nutmeg over butternut squash mixture and toss. Set aside. Preheat the oven to 375°F. In a large mixing bowl, whisk the eggs. Whisk in cooled milk mixture and then gently fold in bread. Add sausage, butternut squash mixture, cheeses and parsley. Gently mix until well combined. Let mixture rest about 20 minutes for bread to absorb liquid. If needed, gently stir mixture so bread absorbs all of the liquid. Pour mixture into prepared baking dish, gently pressing down to form mixture to dish. Bake for 35 minutes, until golden brown. Serve immediately. Serves 8 to 10.

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