19-year-old Karissa Swartz responds to current topics
I’m just going to come out and say this in the beginning: this is a hard blog for me to write. I could easily erase all these words and replace them with happy and trite words that one would expect to come from a 19-year-old girl. Part of my blogging experience is to show others what it really is like to be a young person in today’s world, so I would not be doing anyone a favor if I took the easy way out.
We are broken. All of us. Some struggle in different areas, but part of the human experience is to be broken, hurt, and imperfect.
So what does that really mean? Sure, if we really had to admit it we all would have to say that there is at least one area in our lives that is not perfect, even from the outside. No matter how hard we try to plaster on a happy masquerade, the blistering pieces from the wounds inside of us eventually come out. Sometimes we hold it all inside and push it down until we explode or implode. But eventually, the truth comes out and people see us for who we really are…broken, mismatched, and imperfect.
Nobody wants to think about being broken. It’s not a happy topic to discuss. So why am I writing about it? Because somebody needs to talk about it. We can’t just ignore the blatant hurt and emptiness that pervades our culture and destroys our people. Somebody needs to stand up and be the first to say “My life isn’t perfect. I have struggles, secret sins, and broken pieces that scar me every day. But I am human, and I know every human has his or her own struggles too.”
Honesty. That’s what really needs to come out. Honesty about our past, future, and present. Honesty about our relationships, feelings, and experiences. Honesty about ourselves.
By now you might find it a little easier to admit you’re broken inside, at least a little bit. No one is Barbie-doll perfect, and the sooner we admit that, the sooner we can be helped and healed. But now that we’ve admitted where we are, where do we go next?
Surround yourselves with other broken people. Yeah, that sounds totally twisted and just not right. If you’re an alcoholic, it would not be wise of you to surround yourself with other alcoholics, and that’s definitely not what I’m trying to say here. Really what I’m trying to convey is that it’s time to take down the walls that we so carefully put up to prevent anyone from seeing our broken lives. It’s time to let people in, because the only way to be healed is to find help. The sooner we admit that we cannot help ourselves, the sooner we are able to reach out and find support and comfort from those who also know what it’s like to feel broken and to be imperfect.
I’ll be the first to admit it: I am broken, imperfect, and faulty. I plaster on happy false pretenses, not only to keep people out, but also to try and convince myself that I’m okay. But the more and more I am around friends, coworkers, and family members, the more I see the brokenness that saturates our society. And slowly but surely, I am beginning to recognize the brokenness amongst my peers as they begin to open up and let me past their walls. Sure enough, the more I witness my peers’ imperfections, the more I am forced to examine my own walls and brokenness. And eventually, I am able to allow some of my peers past my own walls. And through this all, I have become a little more healed.
This blog might seem totally off-target for you. And if that’s where you’re at, that is okay. What I’m attempting to say might seem disjointed and confusing, and if that is so, all I can say is that this is where I’m at in my life. If this post made absolutely no sense to you, I would encourage you to give it another try and read it again. Sometimes you might be able to pull a little drop of diamond advice out of the mess and roughness.
In the end, we are all mismatched and broken. We hide our imperfections past walls of insecurities. We try and appear perfect, but on the inside we all hide the hurt we’ve been harboring. The best way to heal is to let others past our walls and let them see our brokenness. As soon as we begin to be honest with others, the more we become honest with ourselves, and the sooner we discover that everyone is really in the same boat.